Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Harry's Story

Harry's Story
My name is Harry. I'm 46 years old. I'm originally from a rural town in Kentucky. I was born on a mountain in my family's home. As my family isn't Jewish and I wasn't born in a hospital, I was not circumcised at birth. My family was not rich so visits to the doctor was rare. When I went to a doctor to get my shots so that I could go to a local school, the doctor suggested to my mother that I get circumcised. None of the men in my family were circumcised and my mother didn't really know much about it. She asked the doctor why should I be circumcised, saying that" if I'm going to pay $250 (that might as well have been $10,000 to my family) for something, there'd better be a good reason." The first thing the doctor said was "Well, it's cleaner," which my mother, who prided herself on being a homemaker took great offense to. "Are you saying my children aren't clean?" she said. Long story short, I walked out of the hospital an intact man. That was the last I ever thought about circumcision until my 20s.

I married at 18 to my high school sweetheart Jenny. Her brother owned a restaurant in Nashville and when I was 20, we moved there to help him run it. I worked as a chef while Jenny was a waitress. When I was 24, I was the manager of my brother-in-law's second restaurant, I was a home owner, I had two beautiful daughters, and Jenny was pregnant with our first son. Our son, Noel (which means Christmas), was born in a hospital in Nashville on Christmas Eve. We called him our early Christmas present. Everyone was thrilled. We called everyone we knew and my brother-in-law and his wife planned us a great surprise party for when we got home. I left the hospital for a few hours to get some clothes for Jenny (Jenny had gone into labor while we were driving home and we hadn't brought anything with us to the hospital) and pick our daughters for them to see their new brother, a nurse asked her sign some forms. Among those forms was the consent for circumcision of Noel. The nurse told Jenny that it was a common procedure and that it would only take a few minutes and that there were a lot of benefits. As a result, Noel was circumcised that day with a Plastibel device. While neither me or Jenny had given thought to circumcision, I can't say I thought there was anything wrong with it. I didn't really know anything about it. Me, being a country boy at heart, I wasn't up to date on medical things and I trusted doctors to look out for their patient's best interests. Isn't that what they're trained to do?

Overjoyed with Noel, we came home on the 28th to our surprise party to show everyone. For a few days, everything was bliss until Noel began crying nonstop and running a fever. After being pushed around by several doctors who thought we were just being overprotective new parents, we finally got to Dr. Kennedy**. After a long series of questions and tests, found that his bladder had ruptured. This was shocking news to us. My first thoughts were "Is my son going to die?" Then Dr. Kennedy dropped another bomb. He told us the Plastibel was the most likely cause of the ruptured bladder. Jenny spoke up quickly, arguing that the nurse had told her it was safe. Dr. Kennedy sympathized with us. He told us that he had heard from a colleague of his that another child had suffered a ruptured bladder from Plastibel in North Carolina. This made me so angry that words can't describe it. It made me angry that doctors knew that there was a risk and they hadn't remotely mentioned it to either of us before or after the circumcision.

Noel was prepped for surgery but he never made it. His stomach swollen and his heart racing, Noel Alexander McGee went into shock. We buried him on January 7, 1989.

I feel that I failed my child to the point that I cost him his life. If I had bothered to ask or do research or had just said "No," Noel would be alive today. He would have gotten to go to high school, make friends, get married, have a family of his own and followed all of his dreams. But circumcision denied him that. Circumcision denied a mother and father their son, two sisters their younger brother, four grandparents their grandson, four uncles and six aunts their nephew, and an innocent and beautiful child his life. 22 years later, my family and I still feel the loss of Noel.

To all parents considering circumcising their sons, I beg of you to please don't do it. No matter what your doctor tells you about benefits, nothing outweighs the very real risk of death.

"In Loving Memory of Noel McGee"

Submitted by Harry J. McGee, aged 46 from Kentucky. If you wish to comment on this story or contact Harry, please post in the comments section below.

** indicates that the name has been changed.

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